January, 2007
Thirteen Years Ago This Month, I was Discharged from Fort Logan Mental
Hospital after Being Diagnosed with Bi-Polar…
By Rae Marie, CMT, Owner Rae of Light Aromatherapy Massage- My Story of
Overcoming Bipolar Disorder....Naturally.
I feel like it is my job now to share my story with as many people as
possible, for there are many others who suffer from the same disorder.
It saddens me to know how many people suffer from just depression alone.
Depression is at a rise, higher than it has ever been affecting the
elderly, middle aged, teenagers and even children!!
I was first diagnosing when I was 13 years of age. The first thing the
doctors wanted to do was put me on medication. They got their way and
during this time of my life they had managed to put me on 6 different
medications. Five of those meds I was on at the same time. Following a
few months of my initial diagnosis, the doctors felt that my case was
severe enough that I was sent to a short-term mental hospital to try a
balance me out on all of my medication. Short term meant one week tops,
I ended up being there three. It was then that it was determined that my
case was so severe that I needed long term care. That was when I was
sent to Fort Logan Mental Hospital .
I was so drugged up at one point that I don’t even remember much of what
had happened during that time period. I was a walking vegetable. My
parents were told that this would be their daughter for the rest of her
life.
Doctors said that I would never be able to be without any of my
medication, that I would probably be in and out of mental institutions
all of my life. They had also informed my parents that I would probably
never be able to live on my own, that school would always be a
challenge, especially math.
They had even involved my little Brother and Sister who were nine and
six at the time, they had sat them down and let them know how “sick”
their big Sister was and that if something were to ever happen to our
Mom and Dad that they would have to take care of me. This is the future
“They” had painted for me and my family.
I stayed in Fort Logan five days out of the week and I was allowed to go
home on the weekends to try to maintain a relationship with my family.
The home visits were not great at all, filled with many outrages, anger,
sadness, and I was taking my family with me.
Things I do remember about my disorder is I didn’t think there was
anything wrong with me, and I thought that those doctors were “full of
it”. My life was a confusing emotional roller coaster; I didn’t think
anyone could possibly understand me. I didn’t even understand myself. I
was angry one minute and depressed the next.
Later in the hospital, new diagnoses were added like “impulse control
disorder”, “homicidal” and “suicidal”. My books, music and art were all
full of anger, hate, destruction, and sadness. At on point I don’t
really even have any memories, because at this time my medication dose
was at the highest.
I started to hallucinate things that weren’t there. I had nightmares. My
thoughts were evil and violent. Many of these extra symptoms of my
diagnosis were a lot of fault to the drugs I was on. Needless to say
things weren’t looking too good for me. Sometimes I think that the
doctors had given up on me.
A New Hope...
In October of 1993, my Mom was invited to a little class on essential
oils. Some of the people that invited my Mom had told her that these
essential oils may help her daughter.
Like what a lot of people think when they first hear the term
“aromatherapy” my Mom thought of candles, incense, and if you smell an
essential oil it was supposed to make you feel a certain way. My Mom,
being a master herbalist, and a master iridologist and practicing
natural health for many years was open to try out the essential oils
class.
The weekend of the class my Mom ran into a little problem finding a
“babysitter” for me (I couldn’t be left alone in fear there would be one
less pet or sibling); my Mom was forced to bring me to the class. This
is where you stop and think that everything must happen for a reason.
Well, at the class, my Mom learned a lot about essential oils, and I
slept under her chair. My Mom had learned the scientific explanation how
essential oils can affect you on the emotional level.
This had exited my Mom and at the end of the class she took me to the
front of the room to smell the oils. I hated every single one except for
the one called “JOY”. I said “that’s not too bad” after saying many
untactful comments about the rest of them.
That was good enough for my Mom. She spent the last two dollars in her
pocket and bought a little Terra cotta pot. The woman that taught the
class was nice enough to donate ten drops of JOY in the terra cotta pot.
By the time we had gone out to the car something fantastic had happened.
For the first time in many months my Mother and I were communicating.
This is one of the first clear memories that I had had since I was put
on medication. I remember thinking to myself “My Mom’s actually
listening for a change”. My Mom thought, “Oh my gosh, I have my daughter
back”.
My Mom was so impressed with how fast I responded to the essential oils
that she ordered her own oils. The hospital staff said that I would not
be allowed to take the essential oils inside the hospital because they
said that some one might drink it. (Which might have happened
considering my roommate had drank my nail polish remover, although if
someone did drink my essential oils it would actually be good for them
because Young Living’s oils are therapeutic grade which means you can
actually take them internally!!!)
So I was only allowed to be exposed to the oils on the weekends when I
was on pass. In two and a half months I was discharged from the hospital.
Still needing to be on medication, “they” thought, my psychiatrist
messed with my medication (mostly increasing the dosage) I had finally
had enough.
Using the JOY oil ever since my first exposure, I remember waking up one
morning and looking at the row of medication bottles I had to take on my
dresser. I decided take back control of my own destiny. This was my
life, I don't have to live like this anymore!! I quit taking them cold
turkey. (I don’t recommend the “cold turkey” method to people. I did it
that way because I was a rebelling teenager and I was also scared of
tapering off and being monitored by the doctors because I was afraid of
going back into the hospital.)
But let’s just say that for me, because of the JOY oil, it was one of
the best things I had ever done in my life.
Everything that they said would be impossible for me became the
possible. Everything that was predicted to happen badly did not happen.
Everything that I have accomplished in my life, they were all doubtful.
A Success Story....
I ended up moving out on my own when I was seventeen, graduated with
honors, went to massage school and graduated from there top of the class
(with the help of the oils). I now run my very successful massage
business using these wonderful essential oils.
I feel that my success is due to the passion I feel toward being given a
second chance at life. I feel it is my job to share with as many people
as I can about the oils, because I truly wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t
for them. I believe that it is why people enjoy getting massages by me.
I really don’t think that I am doing anything special, it’s the oils
that do all of the work. I am just fortunate enough to be able to be the
first one to introduce the essential oils to many people.
I hope that some day, essential oils will be in every home and in every
hospital and people will be able to have a knew trust in a healing
modality that works!! I know a lot of you believe this to be true
already. My New Years resolution (and 13th year anniversary) I am going
to put a whole new focus things, I am going to use the oils like I have
never done before, I am going to share with as many people as I can, and
I hope that I can help give some people hope because of my story and
hopefully some of those people will have similar life changing
experiences and decide to share their story.
Thirteen Years Ago This Month, I was Discharged from Fort Logan Mental
Hospital after Being Diagnosed with Bi-Polar…
By Rae Marie, CMT, Owner Rae of Light Aromatherapy Massage- My Story of
Overcoming Bipolar Disorder....Naturally.
I feel like it is my job now to share my story with as many people as
possible, for there are many others who suffer from the same disorder.
It saddens me to know how many people suffer from just depression alone.
Depression is at a rise, higher than it has ever been affecting the
elderly, middle aged, teenagers and even children!!
I was first diagnosing when I was 13 years of age. The first thing the
doctors wanted to do was put me on medication. They got their way and
during this time of my life they had managed to put me on 6 different
medications. Five of those meds I was on at the same time. Following a
few months of my initial diagnosis, the doctors felt that my case was
severe enough that I was sent to a short-term mental hospital to try a
balance me out on all of my medication. Short term meant one week tops,
I ended up being there three. It was then that it was determined that my
case was so severe that I needed long term care. That was when I was
sent to Fort Logan Mental Hospital .
I was so drugged up at one point that I don’t even remember much of what
had happened during that time period. I was a walking vegetable. My
parents were told that this would be their daughter for the rest of her
life.
Doctors said that I would never be able to be without any of my
medication, that I would probably be in and out of mental institutions
all of my life. They had also informed my parents that I would probably
never be able to live on my own, that school would always be a
challenge, especially math.
They had even involved my little Brother and Sister who were nine and
six at the time, they had sat them down and let them know how “sick”
their big Sister was and that if something were to ever happen to our
Mom and Dad that they would have to take care of me. This is the future
“They” had painted for me and my family.
I stayed in Fort Logan five days out of the week and I was allowed to go
home on the weekends to try to maintain a relationship with my family.
The home visits were not great at all, filled with many outrages, anger,
sadness, and I was taking my family with me.
Things I do remember about my disorder is I didn’t think there was
anything wrong with me, and I thought that those doctors were “full of
it”. My life was a confusing emotional roller coaster; I didn’t think
anyone could possibly understand me. I didn’t even understand myself. I
was angry one minute and depressed the next.
Later in the hospital, new diagnoses were added like “impulse control
disorder”, “homicidal” and “suicidal”. My books, music and art were all
full of anger, hate, destruction, and sadness. At on point I don’t
really even have any memories, because at this time my medication dose
was at the highest.
I started to hallucinate things that weren’t there. I had nightmares. My
thoughts were evil and violent. Many of these extra symptoms of my
diagnosis were a lot of fault to the drugs I was on. Needless to say
things weren’t looking too good for me. Sometimes I think that the
doctors had given up on me.
A New Hope...
In October of 1993, my Mom was invited to a little class on essential
oils. Some of the people that invited my Mom had told her that these
essential oils may help her daughter.
Like what a lot of people think when they first hear the term
“aromatherapy” my Mom thought of candles, incense, and if you smell an
essential oil it was supposed to make you feel a certain way. My Mom,
being a master herbalist, and a master iridologist and practicing
natural health for many years was open to try out the essential oils
class.
The weekend of the class my Mom ran into a little problem finding a
“babysitter” for me (I couldn’t be left alone in fear there would be one
less pet or sibling); my Mom was forced to bring me to the class. This
is where you stop and think that everything must happen for a reason.
Well, at the class, my Mom learned a lot about essential oils, and I
slept under her chair. My Mom had learned the scientific explanation how
essential oils can affect you on the emotional level.
This had exited my Mom and at the end of the class she took me to the
front of the room to smell the oils. I hated every single one except for
the one called “JOY”. I said “that’s not too bad” after saying many
untactful comments about the rest of them.
That was good enough for my Mom. She spent the last two dollars in her
pocket and bought a little Terra cotta pot. The woman that taught the
class was nice enough to donate ten drops of JOY in the terra cotta pot.
By the time we had gone out to the car something fantastic had happened.
For the first time in many months my Mother and I were communicating.
This is one of the first clear memories that I had had since I was put
on medication. I remember thinking to myself “My Mom’s actually
listening for a change”. My Mom thought, “Oh my gosh, I have my daughter
back”.
My Mom was so impressed with how fast I responded to the essential oils
that she ordered her own oils. The hospital staff said that I would not
be allowed to take the essential oils inside the hospital because they
said that some one might drink it. (Which might have happened
considering my roommate had drank my nail polish remover, although if
someone did drink my essential oils it would actually be good for them
because Young Living’s oils are therapeutic grade which means you can
actually take them internally!!!)
So I was only allowed to be exposed to the oils on the weekends when I
was on pass. In two and a half months I was discharged from the hospital.
Still needing to be on medication, “they” thought, my psychiatrist
messed with my medication (mostly increasing the dosage) I had finally
had enough.
Using the JOY oil ever since my first exposure, I remember waking up one
morning and looking at the row of medication bottles I had to take on my
dresser. I decided take back control of my own destiny. This was my
life, I don't have to live like this anymore!! I quit taking them cold
turkey. (I don’t recommend the “cold turkey” method to people. I did it
that way because I was a rebelling teenager and I was also scared of
tapering off and being monitored by the doctors because I was afraid of
going back into the hospital.)
But let’s just say that for me, because of the JOY oil, it was one of
the best things I had ever done in my life.
Everything that they said would be impossible for me became the
possible. Everything that was predicted to happen badly did not happen.
Everything that I have accomplished in my life, they were all doubtful.
A Success Story....
I ended up moving out on my own when I was seventeen, graduated with
honors, went to massage school and graduated from there top of the class
(with the help of the oils). I now run my very successful massage
business using these wonderful essential oils.
I feel that my success is due to the passion I feel toward being given a
second chance at life. I feel it is my job to share with as many people
as I can about the oils, because I truly wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t
for them. I believe that it is why people enjoy getting massages by me.
I really don’t think that I am doing anything special, it’s the oils
that do all of the work. I am just fortunate enough to be able to be the
first one to introduce the essential oils to many people.
I hope that some day, essential oils will be in every home and in every
hospital and people will be able to have a knew trust in a healing
modality that works!! I know a lot of you believe this to be true
already. My New Years resolution (and 13th year anniversary) I am going
to put a whole new focus things, I am going to use the oils like I have
never done before, I am going to share with as many people as I can, and
I hope that I can help give some people hope because of my story and
hopefully some of those people will have similar life changing
experiences and decide to share their story.
Rae of Light
Aromatherapy Massage
Aromatherapy Massage
